Hot Mess Approved: Why I Tattooed My Face and Would 1000% Do It Again
Listen, I know what you're thinking: "She tattooed her face? Is she okay?" And the answer is a very chaotic, caffeine-fueled, deeply exhausted yes. I am THRIVING. (Not really. But spiritually? Absolutely.)
Let me paint you a picture of my morning: 6:07 AM, the house already smells like burnt waffles and Axe body spray because my sons (ages 4 and 6, aka tiny tornadoes in shin guards) decided it was the perfect time for a WWE match while getting dressed. My husband is asking me where his keys are (they're in the same spot they were yesterday, probably), and there’s a trail of cereal down the hallway like we’re reenacting Hansel and Gretel.
And me? I'm in front of the mirror with one eyebrow halfway filled, a mascara wand tucked between my lips, trying to multitask my way through emails, lunchboxes, and stopping the dog from eating a sock. It's giving trying my best, please send help.
So yeah. I tattooed my face. Well—just my brows. Ombre brows, to be exact. Not lips. Not eyeliner. Just the one thing I could never get right before 7 AM, even on a good day.
Why? Because mornings are already a circus and I’m not the ringmaster.
I run a business full time. Like, back-to-back meetings, calendar chaos, and answering emails from the carline. I also somehow own 67 water bottles because apparently that's what it takes to keep two soccer-loving kids hydrated. Between school drop-offs, practices, laundry, grocery store runs, and trying to remember what a social life felt like, carving out time for perfect brows felt laughable.
But you know what? I like looking put-together. I want to be that mom who shows up to the field looking confident and composed—even if my dry shampoo is doing most of the heavy lifting.
Ombre brows are my secret weapon. My five-minute head start. I wake up and boom—brows done. No pencils. No powders. No uneven attempts while half-asleep.
No smudges. No "oh no, I rubbed my face and now I look surprised on one side." No meltdown when I realize I forgot to pack snacks and apply makeup. Just that fresh-faced, low-effort vibe that says, "Sure, I may be spinning five plates at once, but I look calm doing it."
Does it hurt? Not really. It’s more annoying than painful. Like tiny scratches. If you’ve ever stepped on a Lego barefoot, you’ve survived worse. And honestly? The results are totally worth it.
Will people judge you? Maybe. But they'll also ask where you got your brows done. And they'll do it while wondering how you managed to look this good at 8 AM with two kids and zero sleep.
Is it expensive? A bit, yes. But so is a drawer full of brow products you barely have time to use. This is an investment in peace, in time, in mornings that feel a little less frantic.
Here’s the thing—we’re all just doing our best. Trying to look halfway human while surviving school projects, soccer cleats, work stress, and that never-ending pile of laundry. Permanent makeup isn’t vanity. It’s a little gift to yourself. A way to feel like you under the chaos.
So yeah. I tattooed my face. Okay, just my brows. And I would do it again in a heartbeat.
Because being a hot mess doesn’t mean you can’t feel polished.
Drop a comment if you’ve ever cried over a crooked wing or showed up to soccer practice wearing two different shoes.
Follow for more real pretty chaos. We’re in this together, friend.
